I've come to find that as I grow older, I become more used to "work" rather than "play" but am still frozen in place when I have "work" I need to do. Having ADHD is extremely interesting because every single one of our behavors contradicts others. I want to get out of bed and do things because feeling stuck in my bed makes me feel bad; and yet, I still can't find the energy or motivation to push myself up and off of my bed. This also becomes a major roadblock for me when I am genuinely trying to get some form of work done. It doesn't matter what it is or how important it might be to me, I will not be able to complete the task. I used to get on myself for being lazy but I didn't understand until recently that there is a significant difference between "not wanting to do something" and "not being able to make yourself get up and do something". The distinction between those two concepts is not something my brain has fully grasped yet, so it's very likely that at least once a day I will be overcome with a feeling of how worthless I am for just relaxing about when I have nothing else to do. I'm not sure how to even begin to combat something like this because everything that I try doesn't end up working.

   To simply enjoy the moment and not feel like I have to be doing something productive with mhy time is a feeling I crave, It's strange though honestly because I am not able to move to get the work that I want to get done done because I am so worried about wasting time, then I waste time by being frozen! It doesn't make sense at all.